Wednesday
Nov182009
Afghanistan: Obama's Options (From Cage Fighting to Rugs)
Wednesday, November 18, 2009 at 21:23
Afghanistan Follow-Up: Civil War in the Obama Administration
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As the Obama Administration near its decision on troop escalation, the White House correspondent of The Onion leaks details of the discussions:
Pressure is mounting on President Obama to make a decision on the future of Afghanistan.
Here are the options currently being considered:
*Not only learn the lessons of Vietnam, but apply them as well
*Visit; act fascinated by their rugs
*Remove every American soldier; see if fighting continues
*Legalize gambling, as that's worked well domestically
*Thunderdome-style battle to the death between Gen. Stanley A. McChrystal and Afghanistan Taliban leader Mullah Omar
*Call the Taliban pretending to be the Prophet Muhammad and tell them to stop ambushing American soldiers
*Announce you're raising troop levels by 15,000, then pull everybody out, then come back with a half million soldiers, in the
process convincing al-Qaeda that you're loco and not to be messed with
*Arm and finance a group of religious fighters
*Back the murderous drug-dealing warlord with the most government officials in his pocket
Receive our latest updates by email or RSS SUBSCRIBE TO OUR FEED
Buy Us A Cup of Coffee? Help Enduring America Expand Its Coverage and Analysis
As the Obama Administration near its decision on troop escalation, the White House correspondent of The Onion leaks details of the discussions:Pressure is mounting on President Obama to make a decision on the future of Afghanistan.
Here are the options currently being considered:
*Not only learn the lessons of Vietnam, but apply them as well
*Visit; act fascinated by their rugs
*Remove every American soldier; see if fighting continues
*Legalize gambling, as that's worked well domestically
*Thunderdome-style battle to the death between Gen. Stanley A. McChrystal and Afghanistan Taliban leader Mullah Omar
*Call the Taliban pretending to be the Prophet Muhammad and tell them to stop ambushing American soldiers
*Announce you're raising troop levels by 15,000, then pull everybody out, then come back with a half million soldiers, in the
process convincing al-Qaeda that you're loco and not to be messed with
*Arm and finance a group of religious fighters
*Back the murderous drug-dealing warlord with the most government officials in his pocket
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