Matlin's America: So What is This "Special Relationship" with Britain?

Every time there is a change of leader in the United Kingdom or the US, the British media jump to the question of when the new man (or woman) will meet his or her counterpart and the extent to which the so-called “special relationship” between the countries will benefit or suffer.

Hence when Bill Clinton, with whom Tony Blair seemed to enjoy the best of relationships, was succeeded by George W. Bush, the media expected the “SR” to be damaged. Blair, by then everybody’s friend (at least in the West), did his “May I call you George?” bit, and all seemed to be well.


This special relationship between Britain and the US is much misunderstood and misinterpreted. The term attempts to encapsulate close political, cultural, and historical tie, yet it did not exist, even as media commentary, at the end of the First World War. Let us not forget that part of America’s price of entering the war was the sharing of British bunkering ports throughout the Pacific and elsewhere, a privilege previously denied to the US. The aim was to break the trading power of the British Empire.

America repeated its assault at the end of World War II. Certainly, Britain was the largest recipient of aid under the Marshall Plan but much of that was passed on to other European countries. And, boy, did we pay for the support in higher interest rates and stricter terms than other recipients. Indeed, we only repaid the final installment of Marshall aid a few years ago.

Let me be clear. I don’t object to what the US did in exacting a price from its allies. Business is business. What needs to be said is that in the days of world conflict and its aftermath, America’s overriding policy was free trade; the British Empire’s policy was preferential trade. The economic difference between the two nations mitigated against any so-called special relationship.

One cannot ignore the personal. I am positive that Franklin D. Roosevelt liked Winston Churchill, whilst resisting the latter’s overtures to join in the fight against Germany before December 1941. I have no doubt that Harry Truman liked Winnie, too. Indeed, it was during Churchill’s famous 1946 "Iron Curtain" speech in Fulton, Missouri that the expression, “special relationship” was allegedly coined. But can anyone point me to US policy decisions, in those first years after World War II, that demonstrate the existence of this special relationship?

In the early 1960s, Harold Macmillan thought John F. Kennedy was wet behind the ears and a man who could be led by them. Even after Kennedy showed Macmillan the error of this judgment, the two men remained on good terms. However, Lyndon Johnson's relationship with Harold Wilson was strained. LBJ tried to get Wilson to send a small, token force to Vietnam, in exchange for which he would help bail the Brits out of yet another economic crisis, but for once Johnson’s charm offensive failed. Wilson would not play ball in Southeast Asia.

And now? President Obama demonstrated his disdain for Prime Minister Gordon Brown by refusing one-to-one meetings or even a photo call.

At the highest levels, the special relationship doesn’t really exist, except as a personal link, and even then, nothing is certain.

Take an occasion two weeks ago. A U.S. Senate committee called in the Chief Executive Office of BP America to explain the company’s role in the explosion and leak of the Gulf of Mexico oil wellhead. The CEO found himself facing a firing squad, with one senator after another seeking absolute confirmation that BP accepted full liability for the leak and would pay all claims, regardless of actual fault.

The senators did not like the CEO’s response that BP would pay all claims for which it was legally responsible. The US legislators were out for blood and I’m sure they were even keener than usual to get a foreign company spiked. (I have not seen American corporations, even US commercial bankers, treated this way by the Senate.)

I do not seek to excuse BP in any way from their acts or omissions. But let's be clear --- as many of the senators involved knew full well that an admission of liability would negate insurance policies, enabling BP’s insurers to walk away, as the company tried to protect its shareholders --- during the hearings, no one referred to any special relationship between the US Government and a British company.

I believe in the existence of the special relationship. It is at grassroots level. The British and Americans share a common language, or at least a resemblance of a common language. of sorts. Generally, the people of each nation are pro-famil and centre of the road politically, have a keen enjoyment of sports and arts, and are charitably and socially minded.

I have relatives in New York and Miami. I have an American wife and enjoy seeing her extended family, be they in Minnesota, Oregon, Arizona, California, or New York.We have close American friends from Vermont to Colorado. I visited the on business for more than 40 years, probably more than 150 times. Since retirement, I have had extended stays for academic research. On all such visits, and I do mean all, I was treated as a friend should be.

US ideology is often quite different to ours. The British, by and large, are not hung up on issues such as abortion or creationism, nor are we troubled by same-sex unions. And we don’t want to carry guns. In return, some Americans might say we Brits have no concept of advanced citizenship.

But these differences are outweighed easily by what I like. In their locality, Americans tend to be socially-minded. They care about their neighbours and friends. They are amazingly charitable. Their restaurants (excluding the fast-food empires) usually serve great food at reasonable prices. I have a list of places to recommend from Miami to Seattle. And there’s so much space in America, as opposed to the little island where I live.

Freedom is a reality. And because our two peoples have so much in common, the special relationship is alive and well, even if our governments are at each others' throats.

Britain's Election: The Final Word So Far (M. Python)

After the inconclusive British Election last Thursday, we are now in a phase of private talks between the parties, primarily the Conservatives and Liberal Democrats but also the current Labour Government and the Lib Dems. We also are being treated to a media which, deprived of hard information, is trying to pass off speculation as news and insight.

Given this 24/7 discussion with much repetition but without resolution, a whimsical look inside a British elections from the 1960s:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31FFTx6AKmU[/youtube]

Britain’s Election on The Morning After: “Who Here Has a Mandate?”

Britain's Election on The Morning After: "Who Here Has a Mandate?"

UPDATE 1715 GMT: The final count of seats (assuming Thirsk is held by Conservatives in three weeks' time): Conservative 307 (19 short of majority), Labour 258, Liberal Democrat 57, Others 28.

UPDATE 1420 GMT: The Conservatives have gained two seats, Amber Valley (target #137) and Morecambe (target #111), from Labour. With four seats remaining (one of which, Thirsk, will return a Conservative in a delayed vote three weeks from now): Conservatives 304 (22 short of a majority), Labour 257, Lib Dem 57, Others 28.

UPDATE 1345 GMT: Cameron's "Big, Open, Comprehensive" Offer. Conservative leader David Cameron has made his play for power. His initial gambit was to lay out terms for an arrangement --- either a coalition or assured support for Government policies --- with the Liberal Democrats. He pointed out, for example, that the Conservatives could work with the Lib Dems on a "pupil premium" to give resources to deprived schoolchildren, a low-carbon economy, and tax reform. He made a rhetorical nod to electoral reform, although his proposal stopped at an "all-party committee of enquiry".

Britain’s Election LiveBlog: An Interim Assessment “Hung Parliament”
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to Britain’s Elections

However, Cameron's deal wasn't all or even that sweet. He red-lined areas beyond discussion: the Conservatives will insist on no further British moves towards Europe, towards a get-tough immigration policy, and for continued pursuit of the Trident nuclear missile system. And I don't think his "all-party committee" will go far towards the Liberal Democrats' goal of proportional representation.


So Cameron set up his fall-back. If the Conservatives don't get a firm commitment of Liberal Democratic support, they will rule with a "minority government", working on a case-by-case basis to get legislation through Parliament (the last time this was tried, in 1974, it lasted five months).

None of Cameron's plans can be sought, however, until Labour and Gordon Brown step aside. So over to you, Mr Brown.

And, equally important, over to you, Mr Clegg.

UPDATE 1245 GMT: Brown Makes His Pitch. Prime Minister Gordon Brown has launched a pre-emptive strike in advance of Conservatiýve leader David Cameron's statement at 1330 GMT.

After signalling the authority of his Government (we are in talks with the Euro Group on the Greek crisis, we are discussing the problems of the Eurozone with the G7 group of developed nations), Brown stood upon the notion of "strong, stable" political leadership. While he respected Liberal Democrat Nick Clegg's wish to speak first with Cameron about a coalition, the arrangement were in place for the Government to discuss possibilities with the Lib Dems.

And here is where it got interesting: Brown said there were two firm bases for the talks --- sound economic policy and electoral reform. Thus the offer: come with us, Lib Dems, and your dream of proportional representation may be possible.



UPDATE 1155 GMT: Latest state of parties --- Conservatives 295, Labour 252, Lib Dem 53, Others 27, Undeclared 23.

UPDATE 1045 GMT: The Liberal Democrats have made a notable, if limited, gain by taking Brent Central from Labour. Because of boundary changes, this was the one constituency where two sitting MPs faced each other.

UPDATE 0945 GMT: Nick Clegg, the leader of the Liberal Democrats, has said he is open to discussions with the Conservatives over a coalition. Clegg says the Tories have the "first right", given that they have the most seats, to try to form a Government.

UPDATE 0930 GMT: Labour have held a series of marginal seats, rebuffing challenges from Conservatives, Lib Dems, and George Galloway of Respect.

UPDATE 0910 GMT: The Conservatives have gained Thurrock (target #125) from Labour with a 92-vote majority. They now have 291 seats with 32 to declare.

UPDATE 0815 GMT: Let's note a historic first: the Greens are now represented in the House of Commons. Caroline Lucas, a member of the European Parliament, has won Brighton Pavilion on England's south coast.

Now to latest numbers and muddle: the Conservatives have had two more gains from Labour (Hendon and Watford South). Current state of play: Conservative 290, Labour 247, Lib Dem 51, Others 27, Undeclared 35.

So officially, Britain has a "hung Parliament" as the Tories cannot reach the 326 mark.

That's just the simple soundbite, however.

Already Conservative supporters are saying, well, since Northern Ireland's Irish nationalist Sinn Fein (4 seats) refuse to sit in the UK Parliament and since they could ally with eight Northern Irish Unionists, just maybe they could squeak out a majority. (All of this is fluff, but at least it bolsters the Conservative claim that Labour should stand aside and let the Tories have a chance to form a Government.)


On the other side, an EA correspondent points out the bold reach for a Labour (255 projected seats at the moment)-Liberal Democrat (55)-Scottish Nationalist (6)-Welsh nationalist Plaid Cymru(3) coalition. My maths, however, say that it is still only 319 seats.

Spinning gold --- even fool's gold --- from straw comes to mind.

---

In the speech of thanks at his Parliamentary election early this morning, Conservative leader David Cameron asserted, "It is clear that this Labour Government no longer has a mandate to govern."

Maybe so. But it is not clear who does have that mandate.

A few hours after we broke off our LiveBlog, the three points we riskily ventured have firmed up: 1) the Conservatives will not achieve an overall majority; 2) the Liberal Democrats have failed to make a significant advance; 3) Labour faces the difficult decision of if it wishes to forge a coalition and how it does so.

The numbers at the moment out of 650 seats in the House of Commons: Conservatives 287, Labour 237, Lib Dems 57, Others 27, Undecided 42.

The Tories have gained 88 seats. They need 116 to achieve a majority, however, and there are not enough targets left to pick up 28 more from either Labour or the Liberal Democrats. So while the other two major parties are dealing with disappointment this morning --- Labour down 81 seats and the Lib Dems, more surprisingly, down 5 from their 2005 performance --- they are not bowing down before a Blue Wave.

Nor is the raw percentage of vote, for what it's worth, any more supportive of a Conservative victory. The Tories only added four percent to their 2005 total, rising to about 36.5%. Labour is at 28.7%, in line with pre-poll projections, but the Liberal Democrats are down from those projecitons (though up slightly from 2005) with 22.8%.

If I was to attempt an academic soundbite --- be snappy but invoke history --- this was no 1997, when Tony Blair's Labour swept away the Conservative Government, with leading Tory Ministers falling on their swords in defeat. A couple of former Labour Ministers did lose, but nothing which even merited a front-page photograph.

So what do we have? Muddle.

We have muddle in the results. The BBC's 2-D Swingometer has now imploded amidst outcomes that might take four dimensions to map. There was no uniformity in the shifts or non-shifts, with individual seats bouncing around depending on boundary changes, some regional trends, three- and four-way splits in the vote, and --- dare it be say --- local issues and the strengths of individual candidates.

So Labour was not only to resist the Lib Dem challenge but, in some places, to push back against the Conservative claim of rule after 13 years of Blair and Brown Governments. For example, in our home area of Birmingham, Labour retained what used to be a Conservative stronghold in Birmingham Edgbaston, clung on --- despite talk of a student vote tipping seats to Lib Dems --- to Birmingham Selly Oak, and, in one of the most intriguing results of the night, kept Birmingham Hall Green (the Respect Party, formed on the strength of opposition to the 2003 Iraq War, finished second in a four-way fight with more than 25 percent of the vote).

And we have muddle in what is to come. The stark politics of the numbers is that the Conservatives are projected to fall about 20 seats short of a majority. However, Labour and Lib Dem are projected, even in coalition, to be about 10 seats shy of the mark, which would mean bringing in a couple of smaller parties for a majority.

Under the laws and practices of this land, Labour gets the first shot at forging a Government. Paradoxically, however --- given their scare talk of how votes for the Liberal Democrats will unsettle the country --- the lack of a Lib Dem surge means that they can only bring a weakened party into a coalition.

The Conservatives will bang away at how the largest number of seats means that, sooner rather than later, Gordon Brown should step down and let them put together a Government. But it appears there are not enough scraps on the electoral table, i.e., a few Northern Irish Unionists, to weld a coalition without approaching the Lib Dems. And those Lib Dems, even in a shaken state, will stick insist on major changes in the British electoral system (if you want an unspoken headline from last evening, the numbers this morning show how skewed Britain's "first past the post" elections are). That's not a demand that the Tories will be eager to meet.

So from the messiness of "democracy" to the murkiness of individual politicians testing others, sounding out deals, assessing the price of getting power.

The silver lining? Well, there may be quick redress for those hundreds (thousands) of voters who had the doors of polling stations shut in their faces at 10 p.m. local time last night. For, in less than a year, with no party establishing a right to govern, there could well be another Election Night in Britain.

Britain's Election LiveBlog: An Interim Assessment "Hung Parliament"

0146 GMT. An Interim Assessment. At the risk of breaking too soon, we are going to shut down for a few hours with the following projection:

1. CONSERVATIVES DO NOT WIN AN OVERALL MAJORITY: While there have been individual Tory successes in grabbing seats beyond their 1st 116 targets --- the magic number for a majority --- they have failed on too many occasions within the initial 116.

Britain’s Election on The Morning After: “Who Here Has a Mandate?”
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to Britain’s Elections

The most important pattern appears to be regional: the Tories are doing well in Wales but having mixed fortunes in the Midlands and near London. And, with rogue exceptions, they are not making inroads on Lib Dem seats.

2. LIB DEMS MAKE NO ADVANCE: All the excitement over a three-party system, raised by the performance of Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg in the candidates' debates, seems to have drained away. The reasons will have to be discerned later --- my own suspicion is that the Fear Factor of a "hung Parliament" drove voters away in the final days (even though, ironically, we are likely to get that hung Parliament) --- but the Liberal Democrats, with a few exceptions, will hold what they have but gain little more.

3. LABOUR FACES A POLITICAL CHOICE: GO FOR THE COALITION? Labour appears to have held enough seats in the face of the Conservative onslaught to claim, as the British Constitution allows, the first attempt at a coalition. But can they do so with a weakened Gordon Brown and a prospective Liberal Democrat partner that appears less than politically strong in the face of tonight's results?


0155 GMT: Birmingham Edgbaston, which was supposed to declared almost 2 1/2 hours ago, is in a recount.

The Conservatives take Broxtowe in Nottinghamshire (target #42) by a scant 389 votes over Labour.

0145 GMT: The Liberal Democrats have taken Eastbourne (target #6) from the Conservatives, but the Tories have taken Harrogate (target #153) from the Lib Dems.

0140 GMT: Another blow to the Conservatives in Scotland. They have failed to take Perth (target #30).

And the Tories have not taken Eastleigh, held by the Liberal Democrats' Shadow Home Secretary Chris Huhne. The seat was #11 on the target list.

0130 GMT: The Conservatives have taken Tamworth (target #52) and Chester (target #15) from Labour.

The Tories, however, have not taken Telford (target #141). And I failed to note earlier that Angus in Scotland, held by the Scottish National Party, was target #39.

0125 GMT: The Conservatives have taken Nuneaton (target #85) from Labour with a majority of more than 2000. And the Tories have taken Basildon South (target #31) from Labour with an edge of almost 6000 on a swing of 7.5%.

However, the Tories have failed to take Bolton Northeast (target #94) in northwestern England, with a swing of only just over 1%.


0119 GMT: Vale of Glamorgan in Wales (Conservative target #32) declares.

Conservatives take the seat from Labour.

In an even bigger result, the Conservatives have overturned a 7000+ Lib Dem majority in Montgomeryshire in Wales. The seat was only #210 on the Tory list. Personal factors may have played a part: it was held by Lembit Opik, a politician known as much for unorthodox views and celebrity associations as for policies.

0115 GMT: The Conservatives have taken Aberconwy in Wales (target #5) from Labour.

0113 GMT: The prospect of the British National Party, noted for its views on race and ethnicity, taking its first seat in Parliament has receded. The BNP leader, Nick Griffin, is sayiing that he would be pleased to finish second in Barking.

0112 GMT: More holds for Labour (Glasgow Central, Airdrie, Cumbernauld, Livingston, Dunfermline, and Inverclyde in Scotland, Barnsley Central in Yorkshire, Hull West on Humberside, Bishop Auckland), Scottish Nationalist (Dundee East), and Conservative (Dorset West, Norfolk South, Hertford, Worcestershire Mid).

0107 GMT: Labour have taken back Glasgow East from the Scottish National Party. The seat had been a Labour stronghold but was lost in a by-election soon after Gordon Brown became Prime Minister.

0105 GMT: There is a recount at Broxtowe in Nottinghamshire (Conservative target #42).

0102 GMT: Exeter (Conservative target #176) declares. The seat is currently held by a Labour Minister, Ben Bradshaw.

Labour hold with a majority of almost 3000.

0100 GMT: Holds for Labour (Llanelli in Wales; Coatbridge), Conservative (Canterbury, Staffordshire South), and Scottish Nationalist Party (Angus).

0056 GMT: Labour have taken back Blaenau Gwent in Wales from an Independent.

Conservatives have held Newbury (Lib Dem target #20) with a 7.0% swing.

0053 GMT: Conservativres hold Sevenoaks near London and Christchurch on the south coast; Labour hold Wrexham in Wales and Gedling in the East Midlands.

The Gedling result is another blow to the Tories' hope of a majority. It was target #91.

0047 GMT: Conservatives hold Guildford, Labour hold Glenrothes in Scotland.

The Guildford result is significant, as it was the #3 turnout for the Lib Dems. The Tories turned a narrow majority into a sizable one with a 6.5% swing.

0043 GMT: Declaration from Tooting in London. This is Conservative target #112 (close to their borderline for an absolute majority).

Conservatives 19,514, Labour 22,038. Labour hold.

Sadiq Khan, a Transport Minister, gained 1% while the Tories gained 8% and the Lib Dems lost 5%. That feels to me like tactical voting to keep the Conservatives out, and it's also notable that the turnout of 69% was up 10% over 2005.

0039 GMT: Labour have held Islwyn in Wales.

0036 GMT: Brown still speaking, as the Conservatives take Battersea from Labour.

That's an essential gain for the Tories, as it was their #4 target. Labour had less than 1% edge in 2005; the Conservatives easily overturned that and won by 12%.

0034 GMT: Well, Gordon Brown held his seat.

More significantly, Labour did hold City of Durham with a sustained majority of 3000.

0030 GMT: Declaration from City of Durham. Labour had a majority of 3000; this is Lib Dem target #23.

Labour 20,496 (and here BBC cuts away to Gordon Brown's count in Kirkcaldy in Scotland!)....

0029 GMT: The Lib Dems have held East Fife in Scotland.

0027 GMT: The Turned-Away Voters. In Hackney in London, two Labour candidates, Diane Abbott and Meg Hillier, have submitted an official complaint about people refused entry into polling stations. More than 50 people allegedly were denied the vote after waiting for 45 minutes.

0023 GMT: Labour have held Sedgefield (Tony Blair's old constituency) in northeast England and Ynys Mon in Wales.

0021 GMT: Labour have held East Kilbride, Motherwell, and Hamilton West in Scotland and Vale of Clwyd in Wales.

0016 GMT: An Independent candidate has taken North Down in Northern Ireland. Lady Hermon refused to stand as a Conservative-allied candidate for the Unionists and increased her majority from 5000 to nearly 15,000.

0014 GMT: Conservatives hold Putney in southwest London. Which is no surprise whatsoever.

0010 GMT: The Torbay count is imminent. It's #54 on the Conservative list and is held by the Liberal Democrats with a majority of almost 3000.

Labour 3231, Lib Dem 23,126, Conservative 19,048. Lib Dems hold and that's a setback for the Conservatives. Indeed, they increased their majority with a 1.1% swing.

0009 GMT. Democratic Unionists hold Upper Bann in Northern Ireland. Labour hold Easington.

0007 GMT. Grasping. The normally excellent David Dimbleby tries to make news out of a single result (Kingswood): "We now be looking at an overall Conservative majority."

0003 GMT: First Conservative Gain. The Tories have taken Kingswood in Gloucestershire with a 9.4% swing from Labour.

The seat was relatively low on the Conservative target list at #131 (the Tories need to take 116 seats to claim a majority).

Funny, how the first major tremor of the night snuck past the media --- everyone was expecting it to come in Birmingham Edgbaston.

2359 GMT: The First Shift of the Night. Plaid Cymru, the Welsh nationalist party, have gained Arfon from Labour.

2355 GMT: The Liberal Democrats have held Thornbury and Yate in southwest England. Labour have held Durham North and Darlington in northeast England.

2343 GMT. Turned-Away Voters. This is getting close to the label "scandal" for the media. David Dimbleby and Nick Robinson of the BBC have just taken apart Jenny Watson, the chair of the Electoral Commission, and --- with few results coming in --- anchorwoman Fiona Bruce is pounding away about the footage of "extraordinary scenes".

2341 GMT: Results. Sinn Fein have held West Tyrone in Northern Ireland. The Democratic Unionists (Ian Paisley Jr., the son of the famous Northern Ireland Unionist leader) has held North Antrim.

2338 GMT. BBC "Party Boat" Update. The writer  Armando Ianucci, forced to endure the gaze of Andrew Neil for a couple of minutes and to say something funny, reports back, "That was some form of living hell."

2335 GMT: Turned-Away Voters. Problems now reported in Hackney and Islington South in London, a Liverpool constituency, and other areas.

2330 GMT: Sky is reporting the first gain of the night, with Liberal Democrats taking Edinburgh South from Labour. BBC has not even mentioned this. We're checking.

(Sky have no numbers posted on their website so I have no clue why they are calling this.)

2320 GMT: The result in Birmingham Edgbaston, the first significant marginal expected to declare, is likely to be after 0000 GMT because of high voter turnout.

2308 GMT: The Election Commission has promised a thorough review of the problems with turned-away voters.

2300 GMT: The Iran Parallel? An EA reader writes, "The voting system was a total shambles, Iran-style shambles. Exact same thing happened in Tehran on 12 June."

2258 GMT: Turned-Away Voters. BBC is now reporting that in a marginal seat in Chester (Labour majority 793), more than 600 voters were turned away because electoral lists had allegedly not been updated.

The returning officer in Birmingham has issued a statement, "People have had 15 hours to vote, everyone knows that polling stations close at 10pm, it is clearly marked on polling cards. There have been a couple of polling stations where we’ve had to lock the doors but we have endeavoured to get as many people in as possible and process them."

2255 GMT: Significantly, neither the Conservative politicians on TV or the press release from Conservative Central Office talks of a majority. Instead, it's slogans like "it's a historic result --- the most seats gained by Conservatives in any election since 1931 --- more than Mrs Thatcher in 1979".

2245 GMT: The Turned-Away Voters. This could be a major issue, with David Dimbleby hammering away, "A rum job...pretty chaotic". Reports coming in of stations running out of ballot papers and further confirmation that some stations stayed open while others closed.

Nick Clegg, the Liberal Democrat leader, is reportedly personally apologising to voters in his Sheffield constituency. Harriet Harman, Labour's Deputy Leader, has said some results "may be challenged".

2240 GMT: Sunderland Central comes in. Despite the efforts of the BBC to big this up --- "a 12.8% percent swing and it goes to the Tories" --- Labour is returned with a margin of more than 6700.

Labour drops 5%, Tories up 5%. But no big deal, even if the Swingometer shook a bit.

BBC analysts are talking a lot of tosh about this --- "One part of Sunderland is different from another part of Sunderland", blah, blah.

The significance is that, because there was a glimmer the Conservatives could take Sunderland Central, Labour probably put in a greater effort than in Sunderland South and Sunderland West and turned out more of its vote. Not much beyond this.

2235 GMT: So a 2nd declaration has come in, this one from Sunderland West: Labour 52.5%, Conservative 21.8%, Lib Dem 17.1%, British National Party 5.1%, UK Independence Party 3.4%.

That's a 11.6% swing from Labour to Conservative, which sounds massively impressive until you realise: when you had almost 60 percent of the vote in the previous election, there's a lot way to swing.

2230 GMT. Tea Break!

2215 GMT. Useless Academic Projection of the Night (1). "Professor Vernon Bogdanor, from Oxford University, tells the BBC that if the swing of 8.4% in Houghton and Sunderland South is repeated across the country we will not have a hung parliament - we will have an outright Conservative victory."

2210 GMT: David Dimbleby, the BBC's iconic anchorman, on the turning away of people as polls closed: "It's a disgrace, isn't it? It's really a disgrace. It's Third World politics and there ought to be an enquiry into it. It's an absolute disgrace."

2208 GMT: Revised Exit Poll. The BBC number-crunchers, doing deeper analysis on the exit polls, have slightly altered the projection: Conservatives 305, Labour 255, Lib Dem 61, Others 29.

2205 GMT: The BBC is reporting that Lewisham in outer London kept open the polls for an extra 30 minutes --- in contrast to Birmingham, Sheffield, and Manchester --- to accommodate queues of voters.

2200 GMT: Interrogating with Nothing. Jeremy Paxman, the BBC's "tough guy" anchorman, is hammering Labour's baby-faced Douglas Alexander with no more than the iconic exit poll. It's on the lines of "You really suck, shouldn't you concede right now?"

As Paxman asks his questions, 0.001538% percent of the results have come in.

2151 GMT. The First Result. Sunderland South, a safe Labour seat, is now declaring: British National Party 1961, Liberal Democrats 5292, UK Independence Party 1022, Conservative 8147, Labour 19,137, Independent Candidate 2462.

Labour holds easily with 50% of the vote. That's a 12% drop in the Labour vote. Tories up 5, Lib Dems down 1, Independents up 7.

Not much to read into this, as it appears a lot of the swing is due to the independent candidate who ran on local issues.

2150 GMT: Big Turnout? First reports, given delays in counts and reports of those turned away at 2100 GMT (BBC is adding Manchester to Sheffield and Birmingham), indicates a large voter turnout today.

2145 GMT: BBC Bluster. Jeremy Vine, seizing an opportunity to show off the BBC's new Swingometer, is talking absolute pants (that's an academic term).

2138 GMT: Just to Complicate Matters. News is coming in that "hundreds" of people have been unable to vote in Sheffield constituencies, as they were still standing in queues when the polls closed at 2100 GMT. Police have been called in to disperse them, and the prospect of a legal challenge --- if there is a close result in any of the affected constituencies --- may emerge.

(EA's Mike Dunn has just reported that police have also been called to a polling station in Birmingham.)

2130 GMT: Bring on the Lib-Lab Coalition. Labour's Peter Mandelson has now followed Harriet Harman in saying that "the sitting government" has the first go at forming a coalition if there is no overall majority. And he also has indicated, in a gesture to the Liberal Democrats, that electoral reform is "essential".

2123 GMT: I don't want to be too dismissive but the vaunted exit poll is based on 17,607 interviews in 130 polling stations. That's polling stations, not constituencies. And there are 650 constituencies, which means 520 didn't even get a sniff of a pollster.

Start from scratch.

2118 GMT: I think ITV, given the lighting on their "reaction set", intend to conduct a seance.

2114 GMT: My 1st Good Lord of the Evening. Good Lord, how many words will have to die in interminable sentences about the possible meaning/lack of meaning/wannabe-meaning of the exit poll?

CNN, bless 'em, have either figured out that this blather is useless or is so far behind that they are talking about this afternoon's plane crash that injured the former leader of the UK Independence Party (1915 GMT).

2109 GMT: The Sunderland Fun Run. There is a curious and cute tradition here of constituencies racing to be the first to return a result. Sunderland South, the hot favourite, has been practicing all year. Cars with ballot boxes are given exemptions to go through red lights, and the BBC has curious and cute shots of young campaign workers doing a Jesse Owens (or, as this is Britain, Linford Christie) to get the boxes to the returning officer.

The goal: a return by 2143 GMT.

2105 GMT: Political Shift. First interesting political twist of the evening. Labour's Deputy Leader Harriet Harman: "There is a general feeling we need to change the voting system."

That's a pretty blatant invite to the Liberal Democrats to talk coalition, meeting their call for a revision of Britain's "first past the post" voting.

2101 GMT: Intermission. Now we get 90 minutes of speculation before the first result is declared. Everyone is putting caveats as why exit polls may not wind up being accurate but....

The surprise is that the Liberal Democrats come out so low, losing three seats since 2005. But that in turn turns out to be bad news for the Tories: there is not much lower that the Lib Dems can go in an actual result, so the Conservatives have to hope the Labour vote is inflated in the exit poll to have any shot at a majority.

2100 GMT: The Exit Poll. BBC predicts hung parliament with a Conservative majority. Tories 307, Labour 255, Lib Dems 59, Others 29.

2058 GMT: Here We Go. I don't know about you, but I'm kind of excited. Everybody is showing off their gadgets and counting down....

2054 GMT: I know the BBC means well but sometimes it does try too hard: "The BBC's Jeremy Vine will be coming over all technological using some new-fangled graphics and a revamped swingometer to show you how things are shaping up through the night. He'll even be walking down a virtual Downing Street - paved with marginal seats."

2047 GMT: Fifteen minutes from the exit poll. It will be the only exit poll tonight, as all major broadcasters have agreed to use a single survey.

2045 GMT: The Delayed Vote. The postponement of the ballot in the Thirsk and Malton constituency, caused by the death of the UK Independence Party candidate, will make little difference to the outcome. It's a solid Conservative seat, with the Tories taking almost 52 percent of the vote in 2005.

2035 GMT: A quick shout-out to the good folks at the University of Birmingham student newspaper, Redbrick, who are running a "Polling Night Live".

(Fun Fact: the University of Birmingham Clock Tower, "Old Joe", is taller than Big Ben.)

2015 GMT: Best Marking Time Story. Waiting for the results, the BBC considers, "What Can You NOT Do in a Polling Station?"

Well, you can bring your dog: "Dogs may not yet be entitled to vote but they are allowed to come and watch as long as they don't disrupt the vote....In cases where a voter has two or more dogs and will struggle to control them while casting their ballot, polling station staff may hold the dogs' leads."

You may be able to wear political clothing: "We wouldn't want people coming in with overt political clothing," says [an election organiser] "[But] there's a candidate standing in Westminster as a pirate. And if he comes in to vote in a pirate costume as is likely, we won't turn him away. The same goes for any supporters coming to vote as pirates."

You can vote if you're drunk: "Polling station staff cannot refuse a voter simply because they are drunk or under the influence of drugs."

You can't vote with the loud accompaniment of Jay-Z: "We don't want people blasting music around the place as it would be disruptive," says the election organiser.

2000 GMT: One Hour to Go. In contrast to the US, with an extended lead-in, the networks here only go on-air five minutes before polls close (the exception is Sky News, which is trying to get a jump by starting now but finding precious little to say).

A quick update on those targets (1920 GMT) and their significance: if a net loss of 24 or more seats means Labour (currently 349 seats) loses its majority. However, for the Conservatives (210) to take power outright, they have to win a net 116 seats.

1920 GMT: How to Read an Election. One basic way of following tonight's shift in power, and specifically whether the Conservatives can take a majority in the House of Commons, is to track the "target seats", those requiring the small shift in vote to move to another party.

UK Polling Report has a handy list of the top 200 Conservative and top 100 Liberal Democrat targets (there is no Labour list, as UKPR is projecting no Labour gains and 111 Labour losses tonight).

Channel 4 has a timecheck for some of the most hotly contested seats --- the first key marginal, in Birmingham Edgbaston (home of the University of Birmingham) is expected to declare about 2330 GMT.

1915 GMT: Prelude. Election Day is eerie in Britain up to the close of voting. There's a formal ban on any polling until the first exit polls are released at 2102 GMT, two minutes after the ballot boxes are sealed. The candidates, after the round-the-clock campaigning this week, do no more today than pose for a photo opportunity as they cast their votes (always accompanied by smiling spouses). The mighty BBC pretends that nothing much is happening.

All of this means that there has been more chatter about Greek politics, with the unrest over the austerity measures, than British politics today. Yet the strangeness has been doubled because of the news that has broken through:

The former leader of the UK Independence Party, Nigel Farage, was injured when the biplane in which he was a passenger crashed in Northamptonshire. The plane was circling with a trailing campaign banner when it nose-dived, apparently because the banner became entangled in the tail.

The British National Party, best known for controversial views on race and ethnicity, has apparently been crippled by acrimony. After the permanent website was taken down by a disgruntled member who criticised the leadership (pages are now unavailable), party head Nick Griffin has posted a message on a "temporary website".

1900 GMT (Two Hours to Close of Polls): A bit of nostalgia for EA tonight. We formally launched in November 2008 with an Election LiveBlog, this one of the events that led to a President-elect Obama.

1400 GMT: From our base in the centre of Britain, we'll be bringing readers updates on the most interesting election in Britain in decades.

For starters, we've posted a Basic Guide, explaining the process and the prospects for the three major parties: the ruling Labour Government of Gordon Brown, the Conservatives led by David Cameron, and the Liberal Democrats headed by Nick Clegg. There is also a glance at other parties, such as the Welsh and Scottish Nationalists, the Green Party, the UK Independence Party, and the British National Party, and some tips for those new to the system and for veterans looking  for clues as to whether Britain will have a clear decision on the next Government by tomorrow.

As polls close at 2100 GMT (10 p.m. local time), we'll roll out the sharpest LiveBlog both on the twists and turns of the vote as it comes in and on the high and low points of a British media caught between serious observation and 3-D Swingometer showmanship.

Our reading at this point? The most likely outcome is a "hung Parliament", leading to days and even weeks of maneouvring for a coalition Government or a minority Government depending on bloc-building for every piece of legislation. The one "wild card" that could alter this outcome is a "Fear Factor", pushing voters who are wary of a hung Parliament away from the Liberal Democrats, the long-standing "third party" who are now on equal footing in this campaign. Even then, those last-minute switchers would have to move towards the Conservatives rather than Labour in significant numbers.

So put on the kettle for a cup of tea --- it's going to be a long night.