Saturday
Feb062010
Iran Space Shocker: Turtle-Astronauts Defect to West
Saturday, February 6, 2010 at 23:57
Hat-tip to Jeesh Daram at Iranian.com:
Earlier this week, President Ahmadinejad declared the Mother of All Space Triumphs for the Islamic Republic with the launch of a satellite-boosting rockets. Iran's brave astro-warriors were two turtles, a mouse, and some worms.
Unfortunately, it appears that the Space Age victory has turned into a defeat. As soon as the rocket was beyond Iranian air space, the turtle-astronauts sent radio messages to the Free "orld announcing their resignation from their duties with the Islamic Republic and asked the US Government to grant them political asylum and, hopefully, a ride back on the Space Shuttle. Mir Hossein Mousavi took immediate advantage of the situation, called the turtles "brave members of the Green Party". (Ahmadinejad's press advisor later put out a statement, without mentioning the defection, that the turtles' shells were in fact not Green but Blue.)
There is still no news about the whereabouts of the worms, but Enduring America has picked up signals of a press conference from inside the capsule in which the "rat" has denounced the decision by the turtles and called them "agents of Zionists and monarchists". There are rumours that a fight has broken out between the animals in the midst of the weightlessness.
BREAKING NEWS: President Ahmadinejaad has just told reporters that Iran will free three detained American hikers in exchange for the return of the turtles, whom he claimed had been abducted by the CIA, to Iran.
Ahmadinejad also denied that he was ever inside the capsule with a monkey (see photo), as they are "just good friends".
Earlier this week, President Ahmadinejad declared the Mother of All Space Triumphs for the Islamic Republic with the launch of a satellite-boosting rockets. Iran's brave astro-warriors were two turtles, a mouse, and some worms.
Unfortunately, it appears that the Space Age victory has turned into a defeat. As soon as the rocket was beyond Iranian air space, the turtle-astronauts sent radio messages to the Free "orld announcing their resignation from their duties with the Islamic Republic and asked the US Government to grant them political asylum and, hopefully, a ride back on the Space Shuttle. Mir Hossein Mousavi took immediate advantage of the situation, called the turtles "brave members of the Green Party". (Ahmadinejad's press advisor later put out a statement, without mentioning the defection, that the turtles' shells were in fact not Green but Blue.)
There is still no news about the whereabouts of the worms, but Enduring America has picked up signals of a press conference from inside the capsule in which the "rat" has denounced the decision by the turtles and called them "agents of Zionists and monarchists". There are rumours that a fight has broken out between the animals in the midst of the weightlessness.
BREAKING NEWS: President Ahmadinejaad has just told reporters that Iran will free three detained American hikers in exchange for the return of the turtles, whom he claimed had been abducted by the CIA, to Iran.
Ahmadinejad also denied that he was ever inside the capsule with a monkey (see photo), as they are "just good friends".
Reader Comments (12)
Thank you for this green day full of laugh ! :-)
Nice addition for today Scott. Very funny.
[...] noch was zum Schmunzeln für den Sonntagmorgen: Asylskandal beim iranischen Weltraumprogramm Veröffentlicht in News. Schlagwörter: Atomverhandlungen, Iran, Propaganda. Kommentar [...]
funny...
I was right then, that some future slogans would be "death to the rat(s), death to the worms", but not to the turtles, I must have got the intuition from the Imam himself while I was sipping his favorite appellation controlée from Neauphle-le-Château
I heard the next launch will have two famous Astro Nuts onboard, the greatest monkey ever lived, Majnoon Ahmadi, and the most venomous snake on planet earth, Cobra Khamenei. Destination is the hidden planet and the mission is to have lunch with hidden Imam.
Pessimist, Megan, you are wonderful :-)
And many thanks to Scott, of course, for this gorgeous green distraction of the day!
[...] Raketenbesatzung flieht in den Westen (Satire) http://enduringamerica.com/2010/02/06/iran-space-shocker-turtle-astronauts-defect-to-west/comment-pa... 22. Bahman: Es lebe die [...]
Great job Scott! Where did you find that brilliant photo?
Btw American comedian Jimmy Kimmel did a spoof of this on one of his shows last week, but I coulnd't watch the clip because of restrictions on viewers outside the US.
Catherine,
Credit for photo to our top-secret EA Space Correspondent, who continues to operate under deep cover....
S.
Is it true that the worms were extracted from President Ahmadinejad?
@ SAFA
I can't stop laughing!!