Friday
Dec262008
Afghanistan: Stiffening Our Allies to Win the War
Friday, December 26, 2008 at 12:19
Listen up, all you sceptics about our strategy in Afghanistan. We've got a secret to win this war:
Viagra.
You heard right --- the gift that keeps on giving is going to ensure the locals flock to our side to whip the Taliban. Joby Warrick, in the middle of an extended I-heart-the-US-military series for The Washington Post, explains:
The Afghan chieftain looked older than his 60-odd years, and his bearded face bore the creases of a man burdened with duties as tribal patriarch and husband to four younger women. His visitor, a CIA officer, saw an opportunity, and reached into his bag for a small gift.
Four blue pills. Viagra.
"Take one of these. You'll love it," the officer said. Compliments of Uncle Sam.
The enticement worked. The officer, who described the encounter, returned four days later to an enthusiastic reception. The grinning chief offered up a bonanza of information about Taliban movements and supply routes -- followed by a request for more pills.
Warrick, in serious journalist mode, is careful to seriously intone that these "tactics and operations...are largely classified". But he can seriously assure us that "this is how some crucial battles in Afghanistan are fought and won".
So if you're lying awake at night, not because of your own Viagra-related concerns but because you might think that we're on the verge of a pretty nasty confrontation in Afghanistan in 2009, don't wonder why journalists have come this far from talk of reconstruction through schools, community organisations, electricity, and roads.
Just keep the faith in the little blue pills:
After a long conversation through an interpreter, the retired operator began to probe for ways to win the man's loyalty. A discussion of the man's family and many wives provided inspiration. Once it was established that the man was in good health, the pills were offered and accepted.
Four days later, when the Americans returned, the gift had worked its magic, the operative recalled.
"He came up to us beaming," the official said. "He said, 'You are a great man.' "
"And after that we could do whatever we wanted in his area."
Viagra.
You heard right --- the gift that keeps on giving is going to ensure the locals flock to our side to whip the Taliban. Joby Warrick, in the middle of an extended I-heart-the-US-military series for The Washington Post, explains:
The Afghan chieftain looked older than his 60-odd years, and his bearded face bore the creases of a man burdened with duties as tribal patriarch and husband to four younger women. His visitor, a CIA officer, saw an opportunity, and reached into his bag for a small gift.
Four blue pills. Viagra.
"Take one of these. You'll love it," the officer said. Compliments of Uncle Sam.
The enticement worked. The officer, who described the encounter, returned four days later to an enthusiastic reception. The grinning chief offered up a bonanza of information about Taliban movements and supply routes -- followed by a request for more pills.
Warrick, in serious journalist mode, is careful to seriously intone that these "tactics and operations...are largely classified". But he can seriously assure us that "this is how some crucial battles in Afghanistan are fought and won".
So if you're lying awake at night, not because of your own Viagra-related concerns but because you might think that we're on the verge of a pretty nasty confrontation in Afghanistan in 2009, don't wonder why journalists have come this far from talk of reconstruction through schools, community organisations, electricity, and roads.
Just keep the faith in the little blue pills:
After a long conversation through an interpreter, the retired operator began to probe for ways to win the man's loyalty. A discussion of the man's family and many wives provided inspiration. Once it was established that the man was in good health, the pills were offered and accepted.
Four days later, when the Americans returned, the gift had worked its magic, the operative recalled.
"He came up to us beaming," the official said. "He said, 'You are a great man.' "
"And after that we could do whatever we wanted in his area."
tagged Joby Warrick, Reconstruction, Taliban, Viagra, Washington Post in Afghanistan
Joby Warrick, Reconstruction, Taliban, Viagra, Washington Post in Afghanistan